A couple of weekends ago, I packed up my bags and headed to Albany, New York with some friends for Cru‘s preview weekend. For those of you who don’t know, preview weekend is a conference that Cru puts on for Juniors and Seniors to explore the possibilities of working in ministry post-graduation. In those three days in a small hotel and conference center, we heard from several different Cru staff speakers about their experiences, advice and the various opportunities that Cru offers. It’s crazy to think that in a year in a half I will be done with college and figuring out the next step!
As we were given possibilities to think about for post-graduation, it came to my attention how little I actually trust God. We often hear that we need to give God control over every aspect of our lives and that we can trust him with all of it, and if you asked me if I did I would totally say yes. But as I was sitting listening to all of the opportunities that ministry has, I felt a wall of caution built up in my heart. The voice of excuses for why “I couldn’t do that” or why “that not a possibility for me” echoed inside my head.
Once I identified this hesitation to trust God in my heart, I started to analyze why I felt that way. I suppose it’s important to note that I am a planner type person. I have dozens and dozens of goals for my life, and I’m constantly mapping out my next steps for my life, career wise and beyond. So why don’t I trust God with those goals even though I know he is all good and all knowing? There were so many lies that I didn’t even know I was believing, and uncovering those lies and replacing it with truth was one of the most refreshing things.
First of all, God doesn’t not care about my dreams. Even though I would have never said that He doesn’t care, it became a subconscious thought I had as a result of all of those “God flipped my world upside down” type of testimonies. You know the type.
God is not sitting up in heaven just waiting for us to hand over our dreams so that he can crush them and ship us off to the middle of some African dessert to be full time missionaries. It’s a crazy thought when you say it out loud, right? But I think a lot of us often think this way.
Just because we put our dreams and ambitions on the table for God to see, doesn’t mean He is going to take it away. In fact, He gave us talents and passions for a reason, and it gives Him joy when we use those passions for His glory. So yeah, maybe the path He has for your life looks a little different from the path you have for yourself, but He has your best interest in mind.
I’m making a conscious effort to be open minded with what God wants for me and my life. When opportunities are presented to me, I will then present it to God. It doesn’t necessarily mean God wants me to drop everything and commit myself to ministry, but I’m willing to be receptive if that’s what He wants. And man, this truth about God’s character is so refreshing!